There isn’t many times throughout the year that I feel nostalgic. But this week in my hometown is one of the few. It’s fair week.
My husband and I ran to the fair to get donuts (our fair is famous for our donuts). We waited in line for about a half hour. As we sat there I was watching all the people as they passed by.
The sun was just about to set which painted a beautiful orange, pink, and blue midwestern backdrop against all the colorful flashing lights.
As I’m watching all the teenagers passing by going every direction, yelling across the crowd and waving to their friends while laughing without a single care in the world, I felt nostalgic. I use to live for this day.
As a high schooler I lived on my own. Right down the road from where the fair takes place. I walked there everyday and stayed until there was no one left to hang out with. I felt happy running around the fair feeling free for the moment.
For a minute I sat there in that donut line longing to feel free like that again. Wishing my greatest care in the world was walking around that courthouse square hanging out with my friends while laughing, skipping, and being silly.
Then God reminded me of how empty I was at that point in my life. So empty that I had to walk around a courthouse countless times, making small talk with people, one week out of the year just to be happy. He also reminded me of how truly free I am today. Free from my bondage. Free from my pain. Free from my loneliness. Free from the suffering and the ache deep in my soul that I could never seem to get rid of.
Today I’m truly happy. Life may not be carefree but it wasn’t designed to be either.
My responsibilities give me purpose. My struggles give me strength. My family gives me love. Donuts with my husband give me joy.
And above all, God gives me peace.
I find my peace in the comfort of my God instead of empty conversations and worthless wondering.
Life is so precious and beautiful, even in the small mundane moments, standing in line, waiting for donuts.
God’s grace is so precious in every moment. Every simple reminder of how far I’ve come makes me that much more thankful for where I am.
As I walked away from the donut stand I caught myself wondering how much further he would bring me in my next 15-20 years.
What kind of things would I be thinking while standing in that donut line 15, 20, 30 years from now?
God has filled me up. God has set me free. God has restored my soul. God has brought me here. And God has given me peace. God is so good.